I’ve just returned home to the US after 2 weeks away, and though of course the intention of the adventure was, of course, pleasure, I experienced some pain in the process too. And so that’s the topic of this week blog — how do you deal with pain?
In case you’ve ever wondered, “Does Jena live with rose colored glasses on?” here’s your answer: Not at all.
What happens as you cultivate your attention to pleasure is that the ability to feel more across the board develops as well.
Meaning, as you feel more, you feel it all. With out discrimination you feel the good, the bad and the ugly, and you learn how to BE with it all.
This week’s video is about the muscle you need to build so that whatever experience comes your way you are not thrown off course. (Hint: the key is in your sensations.)
Ironically, less that 24 hours after creating this video about dealing with pain, my own skills were put to the test. Big time.
I was in LA for a day, and took a cab to rendezvous with my husband at a central meeting spot, before going to a dinner together. To set the scene, I do not know my way around LA and was relying on the driver, which it turns out, was a BIG mistake.
On his first attempt he got totally lost and went to the wrong place. On his second attempt he got lost and went in another wrong direction. And as he started for a third time take me to the wrong place, I took over the navigation (thank you, smart phone) and we made it.
By this time I’d been in the cab for over an hour, causing Michael and I to be utterly late for the prestigious dinner we’d been invited to, one he had flown to LA especially for!
My reaction? I totally lost it. I wisely refrained from screaming at the driver, but I cried… No, I bawled my eyes out.
When we eventually reached the destination (a supermarket parking lot) the driver starting going the wrong way down a one-way lane, and when reversing out of it, drove into a pole! It was a really hard bang. Thank goodness I had my seatbelt on, or I could have been more seriously hurt than the minor whiplash I received.
(Note: this is the second time I’ve been in a car accident while being the passenger of a taxi. Lesson learned: always wear your seatbelt even in a taxi!)
If we hadn’t been late for the party, I would have created a police report on the spot, but I simply had to walk away…a complete mess.
By that stage I was starving, and through my tears, I ate. To be honest, I ate more than I needed, for the wrong reasons, for soothing, for calming…So there you have it, yes, I’m very human.
The very skill featured in today’s blog, is one I am building side by side with you.
It’s a work in progress, but I see the path, and I know the steps I need to take.
And I’m taking them. Even if I backslide once in a while.
So here is your invitation to learn this same skill yourself. It may just help you out next time your heart is broken, your body is invaded by insects, or your cab driver takes a wrong turn.
love,
Jena
P.S. My offering for the exclusive “Pleasure Circle” program had more applicants than spots. It’s about to start…so exciting.
If you’re wondering other ways to work with me, the next program I’m teaching is “Pleasure Immersion,” a 6-month live program in NYC, beginning in Feb 2012. More on that in the near future.
New York, New York
Sarah Beth
So wonderful to be reminded we can feel it all and survive. Thanks Jenna!
lori Yelensky
Ji beautiful Jena,
I loved the video. It helped me drop into my heart and feel my sadness. This video was the most heart felt of all of yours. I commend you!. I bow to You!
Yes sensation is the word!
Jena la Flamme
Hi Sarah Beth & Lori,
Glad this struck a chord. Thanks for your appreciation.
xo Jena
Grace
Jena, I just watched this and 10 or so of your other videos on youtube and I love them all! I attended the September NYC IIN conference where you spoke, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I took the time to look at your website, and now truly, you are becoming such an inspiration to me. All that you are saying in your videos and blog is so in-tune with what I have been feeling in my heart. You have so beautifully articulated many of the messages that I want to share with my future clients and you are walking your talk incredibly! Truly, I am so inspired. I also just read through your “about” page and really I connected with your story about emotional eating. I feel so fully that what I really need now isn’t more nutrition facts and diet tips, but to love myself and my body completely and passionately. I cannot yet say that I have made it through this process, but I am getting there and your work has helped propelled me along.
I wanted to take the time to reach out to you, congratulate you for all that you have achieved, and thank you for sharing what you have learned. I would love to hire you right now on the spot, but as I am in college and my parents are going through a divorce, my finances are tight! Hopefully soon in the future, though, we will meet in person. It would be an incredible honor to learn from you and work with you (and Andrea Albright, who funny enough, I just stumbled upon as well!).
I wish you all the best and I look forward to reading what is next to come on your blog!
Much love,
Grace
dena
thank you for reminding us to feel our pain, whether its pain, tears, heartbreak, joy, laughter, any emotion. Supression of emotions with food or any other “clutch” isn’t healthy.
Would you be able to share how when anger is viewed as bad, how to best express it, gracefully if I can say that?
I often struggle there, and supress anger or pain with food, less and less now, I don’t have tears but I have anger and brooding, how do you allow it yet let it go.
Thanks Jena
Melody Kiersz
Wow! I’m so glad I jumped over to read the whole post after I watched the video on Facebook. I would have missed Part II of your experience after landing in LA, and learning about it adds a whole new layer of vulnerability you’re sharing here.
So beautiful, heartfelt, and powerful! Thank you, thank you, thank you. In showing your ‘imperfections’ you give us permission to love our own as well.
I’d like to add, something that I practice a lot when expanding my ability to feel is being grateful for my ability to feel so much… Even when it’s not so comfortable or pleasant. Whenever I can develop appreciation for it, there is an added layer of compassion and self-love that brings me pleasure, even while I’m still in pain.
In any case… There is so much beauty in this post, it’s breath-giving!
With so much pleasure and love,
Melody
Jena
Thanks so much, Melody, I’m so glad I struck a chord with you. I love your expression, “breath-giving!” Feeling your love & shining it back.
Rochelle
Jena, sometimes those frustrating annoyances occur JUST to let you release the tears you had looming underneath. And though no one wants to be in any kind of car accident…. sometimes they occur to move you forward. It can bump you forward in lightning fast speed.
Sending you peace and calm. xo
Jen
I love these videos! It’s almost like being with you in person!
Jena la Flamme
Thanks, Jen D, you are close in my thoughts, wishing you to “have it all,” as you desire. Love, Jena