I used to feel paranoid that people were judging me and my body.

If I noticed someone laughing in public, even a stranger, my instantaneous fear was that they were laughing at me, as if I was the butt of their joke.

It was easy to jump to the conclusion that I’d done something wrong, because I felt so wrong in my body.

Eventually I learned to catch myself in these reactions, and do something different.

First, I would take several deep breaths to relax my body and mind. Then, as if I were diving into an ocean wave, I would dive into my feelings.

“Hello fear. Hello insecurity. Hello worry. Hello paranoia. I see you’re visiting me. I feel you. I recognize you. I acknowledge you.”

Whereas previously I would react by numbing myself through over-eating or over-consuming, essentially perpetuating and intensifying the cycle of suffering, now I took a different approach.

With my complete awareness I would welcome the full sensation of the emotion. I would surf the wave of my feelings, and to my great surprise, I did not drown. Instead, I landed on shores of hope.

Most importantly, I learned that there’s a hidden gift in feeling judged and in judging yourself.

The gift is that intense pain forces you to ask the questions, “is it really true?” and “according to whom?”

Even though you imagine or even have indisputable evidence that someone judges you, when you start asking these questions, you have a wider perspective.

You don’t so easily believe the judgments.
You question their authority.
You challenge their right to bring you down.

Eventually, after you wade through the waves, you reach a lagoon of stillness within. You experience the warmth and the soothing rhythm of your own heart. You feel the great arms of Life embracing you, non-judgmentally, warts and all.

In this state, your judgments get the message, “you can stay, or you can go, but I know you’re not true.”

Eventually the judgments will appear to you as what they are, the tantrum of a toddler who is wanting love. Whether its your judgments or others’, you let them be and then you let them go.

When you do, you’ll stand taller, breathe deeper and feel infinitely more energized and free.

You’ll be a liberated woman in a world that desperately needs you to rise above the indoctrination that keeps women bound in shame.

When you’ve suffered enough, you’ll know you’re ready to transcend our culture’s epidemic of judging and feeling judged. My invitation is that this can happen now.

If you’d like to go deeper into these teachings, here’s the replay of this week’s free webinar called the 5 Keys to Find Peace with Food & Love Your Female Body Without Shame. It’s available only until Monday so check it out before it goes away.

With love,
Jena la Flamme