Yes, it’s true. I was literally in the arms of a hundred men and a few women this weekend. No, I was not attending a mass orgy. I was at a Latin dance congress.

What’s that?

It’s a weekend of dance lessons, dance shows, and dance “socials” which are parties with live music or a DJ in which participants social dance with each other, meaning they dance not for competition, but simply for fun and the love of it.

Generally dancers change partners after every song, for what my teacher calls a “4-minute love affair.” In those 4 minutes there is the potential for a beautiful unspoken intimacy with another human being. Plus, it’s an incredible opportunity for what I call pleasurable movement.

You know when pleasurable movement is happening because it feels more like fun and a great way to connect with your animal body than more “work” or “exercise.”

It’s the opposite of “no pain, no gain.” It may feel intense or challenging, but the key is that you’re enjoying the process.

Dance or partner dance, in my case Latin dance, is only one of a multitude of expressions of pleasurable movement—it can take any form that turns you on—but it is one I highly recommend.

Now you may be thinking, “that sounds great for you, Jena, but I can’t dance.”

Before you decided that’s true, I want to tell you about Anya.

As one class was ending and another was beginning, I noticed her glittery gold dance shoes that I had myself been eyeing in the congress’s temporary shoe shop.

I approached her. “I love your shoes!”

She smiled and said, “Let me tell you my story: I have never danced before. I was born in Russia, and my mother told me you are short and fat and you can’t dance. You need to study. As a girl I begged my parents to let me go to dance, but they wouldn’t let me. Now I am 43 years old. I work 60 hours a week, but I’ve taken this Sunday to come to class and learn to dance. I am being born anew.”

I hugged her in celebration of her rebirth. I pointed to the t-shirt I was wearing with an image of a lion on it.

“This is a symbol of your body, your animal, your lioness. May she be free,” I said to her.

“Oh my God! I am a lioness! How did you know I was a Leo?”

I giggled. “I have a strong intuition,” I said, which is true, but really it was just a coincidence. I felt so proud of her and deeply touched by her story and her conviction to dance, no matter what.

Later I danced with a female lead, Heidi, who told me her story:

“Dance changed me. I’m now a software engineer but I used to be in the military and I didn’t know how to communicate with civilians. Through dancing I was able to connect without even needing to talk. Now dancing is my social life. I barely drink. I’ll sip on a cocktail but I don’t like to get drunk. I’ve also learned to lead the dance so that I can connect with women too.”

All weekend the men and women I met shared their stories of discovering partner dance and allowing its magic to infiltrate their life.

“It’s not about perfect moves,” one of the teachers told me. “The most important thing is to smile and express your enjoyment through your face. That’s the key to great social dancing.”

I couldn’t agree more and I think that’s what makes me a dynamic dancer. I’m not hard on myself when I inevitably step on someone’s foot or worse, whack them in the face with my arm during a turn. (Yes, that happened more than once.) And though I admire dancers who are more advanced than me, I don’t enter into the miserable habit of comparisons.

The best compliment I received all weekend was, “You’ve got the hottest personality on the dance floor.” The compliment was not about my outfit, my physique or my technical skills, but was about my willingness to let loose, feel joy and to connect with a fellow human being in a non-judgmental, spirited way. I danced with men who were a foot shorter, a foot taller and a foot wider than me, and I enjoyed every one.

After 3 days of classes in which you frequently switch partners every few minutes, plus 3 nights of dance parties, I’m sure I easily danced with 100 people, each a unique experience.

Latin dance is a beautiful expression of sensuality. The particular focus of this congress was a dance called Bachata. Also known as the tango of the Caribbean, it is sensuous, but above all playful and joyous. Here’s a video of me dancing with a wonderful dance partner I met on the beach. This dance was 100% improvised, with me following his lead and him responding to my body’s capability and flow. Look how happy I look! I was having a LOT of fun in that moment, going beyond the moves I technically knew, guided by the improvisation.

Cultures around the world celebrate the body and no matter your shape or size, you can too, with pleasurable movement.

Now I’d like to hear from you. What does this post inspires for you and your female animal? If there was no shame and nothing to prove, how would you like to further engage in pleasurable movement. Let me know in the comments or ask me any questions you may have about Latin dance.

Love,
Jena