One of my definitions for what I call “true pleasure” versus “counterfeit pleasure” is that it is sustainable.

It doesn’t take away from your pleasure to have more of it in the future.

On the contrary it enhances your ability to feel better and better.

That’s why it was a surprise when I found myself with a case of post-partum, I mean post-party depression, after my recent book launch party. At my celebration of true pleasure, I ended up having the counterfeit kind.

The night itself was absolutely spectacular! More than a hundred supporters showed up to welcome my new book, Pleasurable Weight Loss, into being.

The intention of this unique event was to bring the content of the book to life. One method for doing so was guiding the party-goers in what I call pleasurable eating.

Picture the typical cocktail party. The servers come by with food on a tray. You grab a mini-quiche, plop it into your mouth, and swallow it in one gulp. Not pleasurable at all.

That’s why I wanted to do it differently at my party. So instead of passed hors d’oeuvres, the food was laid out on red silk, like a succulent banquet.

Leading the experience were my trusty “pleasurable eating guides”.

And when you approached the food a few possibilities ensued.

You might have been shown how to eat for maximum pleasure.

Or you might have been hand-fed while blindfolded to heighten the other senses!

In either case the results demonstrated the effectiveness of the message of my book. Here’s how.

At the end of the night, after the crowd had literally been oohing and ahhing for hours on end over their enjoyment of the food , our professional caterers approached me with amazement.

Based on their professional calculations, it didn’t make sense that the crowd didn’t gobble everything. “We don’t understand why there is so much food leftover,” they said to me with puzzled eyes.

I nodded. I knew exactly why there was so much food leftover.

Because the eaters had been invited to be present to their  senses, they were more aware of the intensity of the pleasure that was actually on offer in every bite. They had a more pleasurable experience, and therefore were satisfied sooner. They ate less of the scrumptious food than people normally would at a comparable event, but without ever being told to restrict themselves.

By being instructed to enjoy more, they were invisibly supported to eat less.

There were many other delectable activities and experiences available that night, in what I described as my “Pleasure Dome of Erotic Innocence,” that you can see here in the photo album of the night.

This is a photo of me with Techa, the incredible woman who catered the food for the party. We’ve been close friends for 16 years, and there was that much love in the food.

The night was spectacular by everyone’s report. The people, the music, the performances, the speeches, the venue: everything added up to an unforgettable occasion. It was a night of victory. In fact, one of the best nights of my life.

However … after the high, came a terrible low.

I don’t usually have more than a drink or two, and that night delicious pear champagne cocktails kept making their way into my hands and I had four, double my usual. Somehow I didn’t feel the effects strongly in the moment, but the next day I woke up with a terrible hangover that lingered for two days. Ugh.

To make my low mood worse, I discovered the next morning that while loading out our affairs after the party, all the leftover food and the some valuable bowls and fabrics disappeared. They simply vanished. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Plus with this clear goal of creating the launch event complete that I had put so much energy into, and I was left with a feeling of “what now?!”

The party was an undeniable hit, and I told myself I “should” have been happy, but post-party depression was the only way to describe my state.

So there I was. Wallowing in resentment over the lost affairs, and feeling my body’s disgruntlement for the alcohol consumption. All around me was positive energy, but I just wanted to sink into the blues.

And so I did. I sank into it. Drew the metaphorical sheets over my head and admitted surrender to my feelings.

Not pretending to be joyful, I let myself feel it all. I cried. I rested. I took baths. I made myself green juices and wholesome food. I self-pleasured. I spent time with quality friends who I knew would allow me to be in whatever state I was in, without needing to appear positive. I let myself feel the full range of emotions, including the dark ones.

And within a few days, the inner storm of the post-party depression had passed. Sunlight returned to my mind. After laying low, I felt well rested and I was smiling again.

The photos went up on Facebook and I was able to relive the event, appreciating the good time that was had by all which brightened me up. You can see the photos here. (And while you’re there, I invite you to follow my FB profile.)

I share this to say that as we learn the ropes of the pleasure path, there are inevitable highs and lows. Sometimes we accidentally cross over the line from what constitutes “true pleasure” (the kind that is sustainable and leaves no hangover,) straying into the category of “counterfeit pleasure” without realizing it in the moment.

The trick, when this happens, is to:

1. Notice the consequences of your actions. How does your body feel? How are your moods? What can the aftermath teach you that’s useful?
2. Don’t get bogged down in shame for missing the mark. Making a mistake is an opportunity for learning by trial and error, the best way I know to learn, so instead of shame, be proud that you have been willing to experiment, take the lessons and run.
3. Don’t give up on pleasure as a guiding principle. Like anything in life, practice makes perfect. Pleasure is complex and it takes time to be completely in sync with its powers. However pleasure’s powers are undeniable, so persist in your discovery process, and don’t turn back now.

That’s the low down on the book launch party. I’m grateful to those who attended and those who were there in spirit even though they couldn’t be there in the flesh.

Here’s to the pleasure of learning through trial and error,

Love,

Xo Jena

P.S. Post-party, the book, Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Loving Your Life Today is getting an incredible response out in the world.

Regardless of where you pick up the book and in what format (hardback, electronic, or audiobook) you get access to the 3 free bonuses that come with it.

Bonus #1: Secrets of Pleasurable Style Guide

Bonus #2: Meditation to Learn to Trust Your Female Body

Bonus #3 Instant access to Chapter One of the book