A few nights ago, when the day was done and the silence of the night was my only companion, after making myself a cup of herbal tea and lighting candles, I sat down in an armchair to engage in deep reflection.
With my heavy journal and favorite silky pen in hand, I sat and I relaxed, and let the visions for 2015 flow.
This is a process that millions of women are going through across the country at present—thinking about the year to come and the New Year’s Resolution they will make.
And while there’s nothing wrong with resolutions per se, there’s a pleasurable and a punishing way to go about it. Like everything in life, it’s up to you to choose. To help you be sure which ones you are making, here are some telltale signs to distinguish the two.
Punishing Resolutions
A few years I unwittingly went down the path of the punishing resolutions, writing a list that was three typed pages long in intense detail! I was immediately daunted by my resolutions and by the second week of January I already felt like I was falling behind! At the end of the year I looked over the list and had accomplished about 5% of what I written on this useless list. Truthfully it was an ambitious 5-year plan I’d laid out for myself, and not a helpful, encouraging or inspiring guide for the year.
To make sure you are not making the same mistake, here are some indicators that you’re making punishing resolution:
- You feel bad or even ashamed about yourself or your body when you make them
- You make them to please other people or win approval
- You feel tense and contracted about your future when you read them
- They are phased in negative terms such as “don’t’ do…” or “stop doing …”
- You set the bar impossibly high and privately you know it
- You wouldn’t suggest it to one of your friends
- You feel restricted or denied
- Fulfilling them requires being super-woman and pushes you to the point of exhaustion.
- You make black and white goals without appreciating the success of making headway in the right direction
- They are completely reliant on your will-power and are not supported by people who believe in you
Sister, if your resolutions sound anything like this list, stop there. It’s time to make a U-turn and make some pleasurable resolutions instead.
Pleasurable Resolutions
At first glance pleasurable resolutions may look similar on the page, but they are coming from a completely different place.
- You feel proud of who you are already—your resolutions are only icing on the cake
- They are for your own personal satisfaction and sense of self, not to prove anything to anyone
- They are phased in positive terms
- You feel open and excited when you read them
- You see a challenge ahead of you, but not an impossible one
- You feel liberated and empowered when you imagine yourself pursuing them
- You feel energized at the thought of the process, not just the outcome
- Your resolutions include progressive, gradual benchmarks and baby steps that you can feel good about along the way
- You factor in which environments and which relationships will support you to bring them to life.
My task for you, if you have not already, is to take some time for yourself in which you can feel cozy, warm and content, to write your list of Pleasurable Resolutions for 2015. Include intentions for all areas of your life, spiritual, creative, sensual, etc, not just the classic “lose weight” and “keep the house” clean variety.
Now, dance, sing and celebrate your desires. Life wants you to have it all, and so do I.
Blessings, sister, for your New Year and all new beginnings. And speaking of the newly born, my brand new baby, my book Pleasurable Weight Loss is now for sale on Amazon if you’d like a copy immediately. As one of my colleagues said, this is not just a book about weight loss it’s about how to have everything you want, so apply my teachings to your Pleasurable Resolutions and you can expect great results.
So much love to you,
Jena
New York, New York
April Baiella @ Infinite Yoga
This is about time someone emphasized the positive in resolutions! I love this article and will always talk to people about turning their resolutions from punishing to positive resolutions when they bring them up with me. Thank you for sharing!