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Top 12 Insights of 2015

2015 has been an incredible year of birth, growth, discovery and exploration for me. I birthed a book, healed a heartache after a painful breakup, romanced my inner artist, bonded deeply with  Nature, fell in love, and became more intimate with the capabilities of my body—or as I like to say, my Female Animal—than ever before.

I’ve put together my top 12 insights of 2015 to share the developments that have occurred within these last 12 months. I also hope that by doing so, you’ll be inspired to do the same, and create your own written list or visual representation of your top lessons for the year, helping you to value yourself and of the gifts of this past year.

bookblogLesson #1: My words impact women all around the world

The year started with a bang with the launch of my pride and joy, my first book, “Pleasurable Weight Loss: The Secrets to Feeling Great, Losing Weight & Loving Your Life Today.” Enthusiastic friends and supporters of the book packed the house at the launch party in NYC. We served sumptuous food and beverages in a sensuous manner and an unforgettable night was had by all. The book made its way out of my birth canal and into the world, where it began to immediately spark joy and change lives!

 

ladiesinCRLesson #2: Sisterhood & surfing reinvigorates the soul

I was invited to Costa Rica with a group of 10 women. For a week we intertwined our lives, eating together, swimming tgether, watching the sunset together. We laughed, played, and let our guards down with a willingness to be vulnerable and to share our sensitive underbellies. I was delighted and refreshed by these powerful women, each a heroine of mine in her own way.

I also took daily surfing lessons. I took to it like a fish to water and was soon riding the waves and feeling some of the greatest ecstasy I’ve ever felt, feeling fully united with the force of Nature. I love the surfing high! This is pleasurable movement!

 

soundhealingLesson #3: Sound healing awakens me

I was invited to Bali by my close friend Layla Martin. Bali is a tropical place of beauty and spirituality, and the atmosphere is nothing short of magical. I was in a town called Ubud that offers a lots of public classes in the healing arts. I attended multiple sound healing sessions and immersed myself in the meditation of sound, through Tibetan singing bowls, gongs, chimes, and other instruments that have a powerful resonant vibration that can literally be felt by the body. My intention was to quiet my thinking mind and access a deeper part of my awareness through the gateway of sound. I’m only a beginner at this practice, but I appreciate its power and potential.

gumLesson #4: My body is part of the Earth

This year I returned to the land of my birth, Australia, after 4 years away. I met my 2 nephews for the first time and had my first experience being an Auntie which I loved. I also spent time in the sub-tropical rainforest, amid palms, vines, and tall trees, with one of my oldest friends and rainforest ecologist, Gum. We went bush-walking and bird-watching, and slowed down to the speed of Mother Nature. In that environment, the power of the Earth is palpable. And the fact that we are also part of the tapestry of the planet is undeniable. My body, my female animal, is tapped in to the wisdom of the Earth and so is yours.

mustangLesson #5: I can drive…at last!

When I was a teenager and all my friends were getting their drivers license, I was an environmental activist that snubbed my nose at getting a car and happily took the bus. 20 years later, after living largely in Manhattan which has a 24/7 subway, I still didn’t know how to drive! So finally this year, I enrolled in a driving school, and victoriously passed the test. Delightfully, my first rental car was a basic small car, that got upgraded to a black sports car, that I drove from San Diego to LA with the wind in my hair! Back in NYC, you’ll still find me on the subway, but yes, I feel like more of a grown up now, knowing I can drive if needed.

horsesblogLesson #6: Soft and firm is better than hard and dull

A long-term dream of mine has been to go horse riding. Specifically I wanted to learn to interact with a horse in the tradition of “horse-whispering,” a practice and philosophy from which I have drawn much inspiration for my Pleasurable Weight Loss teachings. Just as I teach the necessity of respect and honor for your animal body, so this lineage of horse-riding emphasizes respectful, sensitive treatment of the horses. I learned the mantra, “soft and firm is better than hard and dull,” and how to apply the wisdom of soft firmness and firm softness to myself and to myself.

dancingLesson #7: Dancing ignites my soul like nothing else

Dance is one of my greatest passions and this year I focused on improving my skills in Latin dancer. I’ve been single most of the year, sometimes lonely, and often “touch deprived.” Taking salsa and bachata lessons and going out to the clubs at night has introduced me a lively social scene where I’ve made new friends, and permitted me to enjoy being held in the arms of a man, without any complications. “A Latin dance is a four-minute love affair,” says my teacher and I agree. In the whirl of the dance, my mind comes to rest, and my body moves in sync with my partner’s. I feel my heart beat and joy course through my veins. No need to drink; dance itself is the drug.

IMG_0450Lesson #8: My medicine name is Jena Lark

When I was bird-watching in the rainforest of Australia, it came to me that my medicine name is Lark. A medicine name refers to a given or chosen shamanic name, that symbolizes one’s connection with Nature and the cosmos. Although I live in a big city, I am a devotee of Mother Nature, and seek to inspire us all to live in harmony with her, including with our own personal plot of Earth, our own animal body.

My medicine name is lark because I love to sing and play violin, aka fiddle, and I love to joke around and be a clown and larrikin. I’ve joined forces with violin player, vocalist and otherwise artistic genius Julia Maryanska in a (so far) two-part band called the Diddling Nuns. Ho dum diddle , two nuns with a fiddle. We are nuns or priestesses of Nature and of Life itself. Shamanic tradition tells that the lark encourages us to explore our inner selves and to sing out loud, and that sounds just like me, so I am heartily embracing my new name. Jena Lark la Flamme. 

citizenLesson #9: I’m a citizen of the world

On September 11 of all days, I became a citizen of the United States of America. This is an immense privilege that I am grateful for. Yet above all, I am a citizen of the world. I was born in Australia and lived in Ireland, Canada and Australia before the age of 10. I see the Mother Earth as my home, one we all share, and must care for, starting with our own animal bodies. And for now, New York City is my happy home. I’m in the groove here, ecstatic in my nest and home base. I’m taking classes, meeting people from around the world, sharing my gifts, and expressing myself in various ways. I’m so grateful to be alive and engaged in constant growth and conscious evolution. 

mothersLesson #10: I’m supported by wise mother figures

Something I’ve had to come to peace with is having a biological mother who is largely critical, unsupportive and disapproving. It’s not me, it’s her way of seeing the world. I’ve come to accept that this is simply how she is, and that I can find the mother love I seek elsewhere. I can find it within, by connecting with the presence of the divine mother within me. And I can find it in the world, in the form of other mother figures. This year I’ve been blessed to have been nurtured by my Mother-in-Love, Patricia Ellsberg, (the mother of my ex-husband,) as well as her sister, Barbara Marx-Hubbard. Having these two deeply wise, open-hearted, women loving me and cheering me on my path has given me so much comfort and peace of mind. Even if your biological mother is not capable of being there for you, there are other ways to receive the unconditional love and wisdom of a wise woman. You can find your mother figures!

RiaLesson #11: I’m in love with a woman!

In October I met a woman called Ria with whom I promptly fell in love. I’ve been bi-sexual since I was a teenager, and though I came out to my family and friends back then, out of caution, I never let my sexual orientation be known in my public profile. Until now.

When gay marriage was legalized this year, I thought, ok, Jena, it’s time to come out of the closet about being bi-sexual. Why are you insinuating that you only love men? Why are you hiding that you love women in this way too? What are you worried about? Finally the discomfort of concealing my truth has become greater than the risk of letting it be known, so here I am, coming out in my blog.

What’s prompted this coming out is that I’m in love with an amazing woman! Ria is a source of immense beauty, joy, love, passion and inspiration in my life. I’m profoundly grateful for her, and I feel a sense of personal relief in letting it be widely known, rather than discreetly brushing it under the rug. Hiding is never pleasurable and omitting to share this part of my life had become an inauthenticity that I could no longer support. Here’s to transparency and feeling safe being self-expressed and fully ourselves, whatever unique form that takes. Thanks for witnessing this important turning point in my public life.

12Lesson #12: I am loved and I am loving

Though I’ve traveled a lot this year, and danced a lot this year, I’ve also spent much of the year alone. A meditation that has gotten me through is one I learned from my Mother-in-love, Patricia Ellsberg. This is how it works. Lying in bed in the morning, bring to mind the people who love you. Think specifically of a person you know cares about you and tell yourself, “so and so loves me.” Allow that feeling of being loved to penetrate your body and mind. Truly feel the love. Go through as many people as you want. And then reverse it. Think specifically of someone you love and tell yourself, “I love so and so.” Again, allow the feeling of being loving to fill your veins, and bring to mind as many people as you want, one by one. This meditation has been the best remedy for loneliness that I’ve come across. It simply feels so good to focus on being loved and being loving.

So there’s my top 12 insights for 2015. I hope you have a delicious time ringing in the New Year. As the clock strikes twelve, may you acknowledge all the good that has come to pass, and open your heart and mind to all the magic that’s on its way.

Which one of my 12 insights inspire you the most and what question might you have? I’ll answer your questions in the comments and would love to hear from you.

Sending love and pleasure your way,
Happy New Year!

Your devoted,

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46 Comments

  1. Ria

    Loving you brings the greatest pleasures, deepest fulfillments, and immense laughter! In awe of your mind, beauty, and power. You bring so much light into all the layers of human expression, especially JOY ?? sister goddess, I cherish and adore thee ?
    Your ever-loving,
    Ria
    xoxoxo

    Reply

  2. Lorraine

    Beautiful, heartfelt words. Thanks so much for sharing. Most importantly, thanks for leading the way and showing all of us the power of being authentic. Happy, Happy New Year!

    Reply

  3. Ksenya Egorova

    Beautiful! Thank you, Jena, for sharing with us who you are. You have achieved so much this year and I love every lesson of yours. I celebrate you and this inspires me even more to celebrate myself. Your daily bites are delicious and are an integral part of my days.
    Lots of love, growth and magic in 2016!

    Reply

  4. Samantha

    Dear Jena,
    Thank you so much for sharing these beautiful lessons. My year has been very up and pretty down and getting your daily bites has been such a gift. I appreciate so much you sharing so much of yourself with us! Happy Happy New Year!
    Samantha
    (ps I’m in NY and hope to meet you in person soon!)

    Reply

    • Jena

      Hi Samantha, My love to you in your ups and downs. I’m glad the daily bites have helped. And yes, I look forward to meeting in NYC sometime sooner than later. xox

      Reply

  8. Jaime

    Beautiful share! I particularly love #11. I met Ria at an event and she is a delight. It’s so fun for me to see two powerful women share their love, especially when as a bisexual you can hide as hetero. Congrats on all of these and I look forward to seeing more as we all expand into 2016.

    Jaime

    Reply

  9. KC

    I am so inspired by you Jena la Flamme. What a gorgeous authentic creation your life is. Thank you for so beautifully sharing in the bounty that is your life with us!!! I love you.

    Reply

  11. Jennifer

    loved reading this. while i havent met you personally, your goddess-like (& priestess) aura inspires me to bring out more my own. beautiful insights and congrats on your new love and the vulnerability in sharing that. cheers to you!

    Reply

  14. Naomi Colb

    What an engaging read! I have enjoyed your book and have been referring your work to clients who are challenged with their relationship to their body and food.
    Wishing you and your beloveds all the best for 2016. Please give Patricia a hug for me.

    Reply

  15. Ali Shanti

    When I think of female role models in my life, you are one of the first who comes to mind. Your presence in my life is such a gift. A life changer, really. I love you beyond words, Ms Jena Lark.

    Reply

  16. Kate

    Jena;
    Your beauty, joy and passion ooze out of every cell of your body. Don’t change.
    Thank you for being you and sharing your experiences and insights. Although #11 wasn’t a huge surprise it made me very happy a a teeny bit jealous!

    Namaste!

    Reply

  17. Manju

    Dear Jena,
    You are a strong woman and in a right job to inspire other women too. It is necessary for everyone (men or women) to first love themselves and then automatically you will see love in others. Sometimes, we get so hurt that we start questioning ourselves that am I so bad that people are behaving like with me. But am sure every woman is having her inner strength and that needs to be brought back and she can surface back and ready to fight any odds in life. Your write ups gives that strength, you are a good writer.

    I feel and have observed that nobody can understand better than another woman. May be men too feel the same and might be true. Sometimes, looks like men and women are two different species.

    I missed out meeting you in NYC, it would have been otherwise a very intellectual meet. If life permits and our paths cross then we may meet somewhere, sometime. Till then will enjoy your write up.

    Good to know a strong and an inspiring woman in you!!!

    Reply

  18. Heidi

    I didn’t know you until now! Thank you for sharing your insights. I particularly loved #12, and I am going to start that practice. I live alone and have been alone for many, many years. It is good to know we are loved even when there is no special beloved. I also have food issues (like almost every woman), and I will have to check out your book.
    Thank you, and wishing you and your beloved much happiness and love.

    Reply

  20. Cynthia

    Thank you for such an honest and heartfelt sharing of yourself. I struggle with #11 and loving the self. I appreciate the suggestion of a daily practice. As with most healing, it takes commitment.

    Reply

  21. Keylan Q.

    I looooooved reading this Jena and I feel tingly and peaceful and delighted for you (and Ria! x waves and grins at Ria x). An absolute pleasure to read…my heart is just brimming over for you. Every time one of us lives authentically and gracefully it entices all witnessing to do the same (hmm, I think I might put that on a plaque!). Thank you for your grace and authenticity, my dear!

    Reply

  22. Aaiyn Foster

    Hi Jena ~ * Bravo for this H U G E birthing year ~ all of it ~ * * * * *

    Want to share a lucid dream I had in the last 2 months ~ ~ that was 30 – 40 yrs. in the future. I was out for a walk, and taking a moment to love life and notice all with totally fresh eyes (a practice of mine) ~ what was palpable was that there was absolutely not a molecule of the energy of the cage of concepts about sexuality in the air ~ young and old/ the Eldresses and Elders . . . were totally transparent, just loving ~ truly, freely being love and loving whomever. There was such a feeling of pure, innocent clarity, and love. When I woke up, in looking back at the dream, I noticed that the light had a certain quality of brightness and started to try to figure out what time of day it was . . . then I got even more dramatically just how much love IS light IS devine and as we shift into the new paradigm, the organic * functional * whole / the feminine /yin. ..and we are truly able to be love and to receive and to give love even more wholly. . . there will be a palpable light / glow ~ ~ ~ * I say we are. . . putting the w back into holy . . . Golden what ~ *

    I also got that Lesbian / Gay / Transgender / Bi-sectuals . . . are leading the way. . . yes, freeing themselves, yet in the bigger picture it is the whole global village / culture which is being freed, from the thousands of years of bondage to the conceptual/intellectual constructs of all the cages: sexuality and socially held gender roles. Blessings ~ * a Shower of Blessings on you, Ria ~ one and all ~ * oxo

    Reply

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